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Reasons To Give Up

24 Apr 2018 / 0 Comments / in Uncategorized

While allowing me my habit, the government really wants me to quit smoking. They’ve barred me from smoking in pubs that I never used to enter in the first place, as with restaurants, which I was usually too busy eating in to care much for smoking. They have replaced the branding on the packaging with […]

220418 – Mufti Day

22 Apr 2018 / 0 Comments / in Year of the year

It’s mufti day at the Milton Jones School for the unfunny.

C is for Commitment

16 Apr 2018 / 1 Comment / in Uncategorized

Kate’s updated my website to email subscribers when I post a new blog. Look to the left banner, click the link, enter your email address, and keep up to date with my comments. You know how urgently you need to hear me prattle on about sport.

Management by Example

11 Apr 2018 / 0 Comments / in Uncategorized

A particular tone, manner, or intelligence pervades the beautiful game, and it is anything but beautiful. On the touch line, Arsenal manager, Arsene Wenger, likes to hold one nostril closed with a finger to assist in the projection of snot from the other, and Alex Ferguson was knighted for dropping his sweetie wrappers on the […]

Customer Services

06 Apr 2018 / 0 Comments / in Uncategorized

In business, I’m told, when someone offers to buy your work it is not good customer service to tell them they are a cunt. Unless they are one, of course. Take Manjo, for instance, of 12 Seaforth Road, Aberdeen, AB24 5PG and various other addresses, and whose email is He mailed me explaining that […]

020418 – 2001

02 Apr 2018 / 0 Comments / in Year of the year

Fifty years since the premier of the greatest story ever told. Thirty since I first watched the film. Twenty-something since my first reading of the book. Twenty since I obtained a ballpoint pen with the words ‘stolen from Arthur C. Clarke’ written down the trunk. Seventeen years since I had the opportunity to see precisely how […]

010418 – Paradox of Choice

01 Apr 2018 / 0 Comments / in Year of the year

It was decreed that on the first of April two thousand and seventeen, the water market would open up. It was a bit like giving some women the vote. The nation’s largest water users had long been able to pick and choose their suppliers, and when the project went live many businesses were left out. Domestic […]

Jacob’s Birds

27 Mar 2018 / 0 Comments / in Uncategorized

An ex-colleague of mine is writing a blog about the birds he sees. For a young lad he’s very knowledgeable, and has recorded some great sightings. I’m particularly jealous that he saw a bittern. Take a peeky at

230318 – Slow News Day

23 Mar 2018 / 0 Comments / in Year of the year

Look at any day in the year, you’ll find that it’s venerated by some people for some reason. Not today, though: the twenty third of March is the least celebrated of all. The only news clipping to have even been taken was in nineteen seventy eight from the Sopris Sun, a backwater press in nowheresville. […]

Bad Boys of Golf

21 Mar 2018 / 0 Comments / in Uncategorized

In third place, with a total of one hundred and fifty rich man dollars in fines for suggesting a golf course looked more like a farm, is Dave Hill. Here and there Dave was fined this and that, measly pittances for speaking his mind, a mind which, I understand, was quite dull and pathetic. His […]